Trusting God

Failure seems to weigh on us most when we’re isolated. When the only one around to give an opinion about our lives is ourselves, and we can be harsh critics. It’s difficult to keep a positive attitude when we look to our corners for help and, again and again, find that no one is there cheering us on.

A couple of years ago I was living in isolation. Back then, life was difficult but it was the time when I first learned to trust in God. During this era I dealt with a mental sickness that was kind of a melting pot of issues. Black mold was hidden in the walls of my kitchen and its toxins fused with depression and sheer loneliness. Malnutrition also played a role and my body weakened.

In a nutshell, I had very little mental capability and next to none in terms of communication, I started to lose my hair on one side of my head and I couldn’t hold my bladder. I started to misunderstand basic social tendencies and would lose my train of thought immediately after it departed.

I felt like I was in a dingy with a fishing rod and no lure. On top of that, my fishing line was weak and brittle. In the midst of my struggle, the Lord met me; “He reached down from on high, and took hold of me; He drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes who were too strong for me. They confronted me in my day of disaster by the Lord was my support (Psalm 18:16-18).”

I still remember the night He rescued me, but my exodus was long and arduous, and still impacts my life today. The Lord continues to teach me how to live a full and godly life, and He affirms His trustworthiness day after day. He understands that it is difficult for humans to place their trust in things that they have not experienced before.

As our connection to God grows, He humbly works to earn our trust. Over time, we can come to a place where if we find ourselves out on the dingy with no lure, and weak and brittle line, we can still be sure that we’ll come back home with food to eat.

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